Gays Cannot Serve in the Military Because General Pace Had Shitty Parents

General Peter Pace responds to questions about previous remarks he's made on homosexuals serving in the military:

This is unbelievable, you guys. It's 2007. We've been dealing with this issue for decades, and no one even thought to ask King Pace how homosexuality conflicted with the way he was brought up? It would have saved us a lot of time. I think you all heard his royal highness, homos, beat it. NO, NOT LIKE THAT.

Swasitka-shaped Army Barracks Ignites Tempest in a Teapot in a Gas Chamber

A naval base in California has a barracks shaped like a swastika:

This is basically the Mother Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich of liberal politics, isn't it? I mean, the only way this could really offend you would be if you were an actual holocaust survivor AND piloting enthusiast. Who lived in Southern California. Whose parents were killed by a building shaped like a swastika.

Women Can Now Marry Machines, Sorry Homos

Robotic enhancements are being made in medical science:

Claudia Mitchell may be the most elegantly sophisticated example to date of marriage between woman and machine, but not the best romance. That spot is already taken, thank you very much.

Ne Me Tase Pas, Bro!

A protester interrupts a speech by French Foreign Minister, Bernard Kouchner:

This video just goes to show that John Kerry has less charm in his whole body than Bernard Kouchner has in his petit le-french-word-for-finger.

The Tears of a Clown No Longer the Saddest, Unless It Is a Sudanese Clown

George Bush touches on the Darfur crisis in his speech to the United Nations:

What is Sudan laughing at? It couldn't possibly be the president's late-term lip-service to a genocidal nightmare for which the United States is taking glacial and impotent steps to end the bloodshed, too busy with its own quagmired military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, could it? Oh, it is. Well, ha ha, then.

Who Told You We have Gays?

In response to the question "Why do you execute homosexuals?" Ahmadinejad had this to say:

Sorry, my bad. I wonder where I ever got such an idea. Oh wait I remember.

Welcome to Columbia, Asshole

President of Columbia University Lee Bollinger "welcomed" Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today.

Note to self: Think twice before accepting dinner invitation from Lee Bollinger.